The Ocean
by Caster of Chaos
Summary: [Ch.2] The Adepts enter Kolima Forest. Humor ensues...
1. Elemental Star Room

And, the moment none of you have been waiting for... 

Core: (whispers) You got that part right!

Ahem! Anyway... I write another one-shot humor fanfic!

Steam: Whee.

Aroma: Wahoo. Yay. Celebrate. Gonna fall asleep...

I feel so loved...

I got this idea from playing the _darn long_ prologue of Golden Sun, which (in my mind) counts as Sol Sanctum too.

Core: Many things in your mind are not as they really are. For who can tell what reality is?

Have you been reading philosophy lectures on the Internet again?

Aroma: No, I was using the computer.

Doing...

Aroma: Stuff. Things. (Sighs) Okay, I was flaming random stories.

WHAT? WITH MY ACCOUNT? YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A TOTAL (censored)!!!

Aroma: Hehehehe...

0000000000 is a scene change. A whole row of the is the beginning/end of the story.

The Ocean 

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"Wow!" Jenna exclaimed as she was teleported into the Elemental Star Chamber.

"Amazing..." breathed Isaac.

"I need to go to the bathroom," whined Garet.

And they (with the exception of Garet) were right to be awed. A huge chamber, pillars sticking out of the glistening water, in the middle of a volcano.

Garet, after controlling Nature's Call, looked around the room. Mostly staring at the statues holding the Elemental Stars. "They're hot..." he mumbled dreamily, eyes glazed over.

Isaac gave him a funny glance, then scooted over to be next to Jenna. "Weirdo..."

"Wow!" a voice from nowhere said. The voice could have been associated with terrible things. Things like hurricanes. Things like the world being taken over by bananas from the planet TomatoSoup. Things like _Kraden_. "Wow!" Kraden exclaimed again. "Is that the ocean?"

And then he appeared.

"No, it can't be... the ocean has waves," he murmured sadly, staring at the waters lapping at the crystal pillars.

"This is boring..." muttered Garet and Jenna simultaneously. They glanced at each other. "Let's make Isaac go get the Elemental Stars!" they shouted.

Garet frowned. "I'm coming with him!"

Jenna looked at him quizzically. "Why?" she asked, dreading his response.

"So I can be nearer to my hunnies!" he yelled.

"What, the statues?" asked Isaac. After receiving a nod, he raised his eyebrows. "Right."

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Isaac and Garet hopped over to the Mercury Star. "I got it!" said Isaac, walking up to the statue. 'Man, why do they make these things so dang tall?' he thought. Garet chuckled at the sight of Isaac jumping up and down trying to reach the Star.

"Stand aside, little man, for Garet the Tall is here!" He reached up and plucked the Star from the woman's grasp, dropping it into the awaiting Mythril Bag. Pillars randomly popped out of the ocean... erm, water.

Kraden stared at the water. "The ocean... It's so beautiful..."

Isaac, ready to hop to the Venus Star, looked back at Garet and gagged. Garet, having taken the Mercury Star, was now kissing the statue's hands. "What the crap."

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Isaac plucked the Jupiter Star out of the statue's hands. For some reason, the Jupiter statue was shorter than the others. Maybe all Jupiter Adepts were that short (XD). For the third time, random pillars popped out of the water.

"The ocean... without waves..." muttered Kraden again.

Suddenly, two weirdoes popped out of the warp.

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Garet reached up and grabbed the Mars Star, then proceeded to fondle the statue.

"Dude, that's just nasty."

The room shook violently, sending the water everywhere. In short, making waves.

"THE OCEAN!" crowed Kraden, viewing the water. Tearing off the robe he was wearing ("Augh!" exclaimed Jenna) he dove stark naked into the water.

Which wasn't there anymore. In its stead was, well... To put it bluntly, he was diving into a pool of lava. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed. "THE OCEAN IS GONE!" He hit the lava with a splash.

"Nine point five!" cheered Isaac.

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"Wow!" exclaimed Garet as he, Isaac, Ivan, and Mia entered the Kalay Docks. "Have we finally reached the all-powerful ocean Kraden was obsessed with?"

Isaac sighed. "No, this is the Karagol Sea. And for Alchemy's sake, don't start poledancing on a statue."

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Aroma: What. The. CRAP IS WRONG WITH YOU????

Hehehe... Read and Review!

Core: Yo, dude, they're already done reading.

Fine. Review!

Steam: Much better.

-Caster of Chaos


	2. Kolima Forest Lake

Mwehehehe... I've decided to turn this into a series of short (really short) stories about the Adept's adventures throughout Weyard. Be prepared for 400 word chapters of (hopefully) humor!

NOTE: These chapters have nothing to do with each other. So if Kraden dies in the first chapter (which he did, yay!) he can still reappear later.

NOTE2: On all my games, I do Mercury Lighthouse first, then Kolima Forest. That's why Mia is with Isaac, Garet, and Ivan.

Chapter Two: Kolima Forest Lake

Take One:

Isaac sighed as he saw a shining pool of water in front of him. "Geez, not another puzzle..." he muttered. The lake, about fifteen feet deep, had logs floating on it and a deep trench toward the eastern end.

Mia walked over to the right. "Hm..." She examined a sign next to a switch. "Caution: Do not touch floodgate," she read.

Ivan walked over. "Well, I hope we reach the heart of the forest soon. We've been wandering for hours."

"Yeah," Garet agreed. "I'm starving."

Isaac sighed again. "Alright, we can have some food..." Garet did a little dance, and then...

"Augh!"

"Garet!"

"No!"

Garet, while dancing strangely, tripped over a rock and hit the switch. The floodgate flew open, and the lake began to drain.

"Aww man, now how are we supposed to reach the other side?" whined Ivan.

The lake was gone. In its stead were a bunch of rocks, logs, and a small stream running through the bottom.

"Oh, I get it!" exclaimed Mia. "The gate dams the stream, and the lake fills up!"

Isaac studied the area carefully. "What stops it from flooding?"

"No idea."

Garet hit the switch again. Slowly, the water filled up. And up. And up. And...

"RUN AWAY!!!" The lake overflowed, sending water cascading over the cliff, and taking four Adepts with it.

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The Adepts washed up at the Fuchin Temple hours later. "Why did the lake flood?" asked Ivan.

Garet sheepishly held up a switch labeled "Reality Check" on the top. "Whoops."

Take Two:

(Starts right before Garet hits the switch for the second time.)

"Well," Isaac said, "we might as well find a way to get to the other side. Those logs on the land are blocking are way, and we'd never be able to climb over them."

The group marched down the stairs and began pushing the logs randomly. Chaos ensued.

"Hey! What're you doing with tha—Oof!" A loud splash was heard as Ivan was pushed into the stream.

"Augh! Watch where you're— Hey! Stop that right now! I mean it, Garet. That's not funny! AAAAAHHHHH!" Mia screamed as Garet attempted to run her over with a log.

Isaac frowned. 'Am I the only one actually doing any work around here?'

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"Alright, team! We've arranged the logs in an order so that when we fill the basin with water we can jump from log to log and reach the other side and save the forest assuming the logs don't move but I have a strange feeling they won't!" Garet said in a breathless rush.

"Meep."

Isaac, volunteered by Garet to go first, hopping from stable land to shaky log. Oddly enough, the log didn't move at all, other than his end sinking slightly. "I think it's safe!" he called back.

One by one, the Adepts maneuvered their way to the other side. Ivan, the last, hopped onto the land and looked back. "I just had a thought."

Isaac looked at him. "Shoot."

"Well, couldn't we have just swam?"

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Core: That was random.

That's the whole idea, isn't it?

Steam: Point for Chaos.

Thanks. So, readers... Review! And stuff. And things. Yah.

Aroma: Riiight...

And, stay tuned, for MORE wonderful humorous ideas from me!

Review!


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